What do you do with anger?
I finished Augusten Burrough’s This is How. I love how Augusten has this great shit
detector, and he doesn’t let you get away with anything. He calls you on your lies and
self-deceits. It may not endear him to
some, but it’s very refreshing.
One of the things that he points out ~ and I’ve long thought
was true ~ is that anger is very powerful.
It’s a caustic but vital emotion.
When you feel hurt, your natural response is to get angry. It’s like when you’re hurt/infected by germs
or viruses, your body’s natural response is white blood cells, the knights of
the immune system. Anger is the immune
response of the emotions.
To extend the analogy, we also have to get those bad things
out of our systems, whether it’s bacteria or poison or anger. If we hold it in, it festers and gets worse
and can destroy us, if we let it. If we can’t eliminate bad stuff through our
waste system, it seeps out through the pores in our skin.
The same with anger.
We need to get it out of us, or it ruins us. It turns into depression or self-hatred, or
we let it build up to a point where we lash out, whether with unkind words or
with fists and bullets. Stress is also suppressed
anger under another name (outside stimulus, our bodies telling us to do
something).
It must be excised ~ or exorcised.
How do we get anger out of us? Well, anger is a call to arms, a call to
action. It’s healthy (at least
initially) because it’s the impetus to do something about a wrong. So, to get it outside us, we need to DO
SOMETHING. One very good antidote is physical
exercise. Physical exercise reduces
stress and gets rid of all those bad feelings and heightens the good
endorphins.
But my main point is this:
creative acts are one of the best ways to ameliorate anger. Anger can be and is a lot of people’s
muses. It is an internal drive that we
can focus to fuel our art. That does not
mean that our art needs to be angry ~ just that the energy that is created from
anger can be refocused to our own purposes and is probably best used that way.
Competitiveness and “I’ll show them” are just other forms of
anger. It’s not bad to feel competitive ("I
feel hurt because someone else seems to be getting what I deserve") ~ it just
needs to be used constructively and not focused on to the point that it becomes
corrosive. It also helps to add a big
dose of humility and to adjust your expectations. But, nonetheless, redirected anger can take
you far.
So I would suggest something. Today, when someone cuts you off in traffic,
when your significant other says that mean thing that really gets under your
skin, when you remember how your parents didn’t love you enough or in the right
way, use it. Take that anger and use it
to create space to do your art. Say “screw
them!” and use that “selfish” impulse to reserve the time and energy to do your
art.
PS Here’s a great column “This Week in Anger” by some
bicyclists that talks about this same principle.
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