'In Lonely Rooms'

I took this a few days ago ~ a young mouse killed by a cat no doubt.  It blends in with the surrounding grass and makes one think of one’s eternity.

It’s been a rough couple of months. My mom is 91 and having some health issues.  She almost died mid-April with a UTI that turned to toxic shock.  All her systems were shutting down, and her BP was 50 something.  Since then, my husband came down with that flu that’s been going around and has been as sick as he’s been in his life.  He slept literally for a week. He’s just now finally almost back to normal but still a little weak with a bit of a cough.  My son tripped and bent his fingers backwards and broke his middle finger. His hand swelled up and turned all blue and gray. Then this last weekend I took Mom down to specialists in Colorado and she almost had to have surgery.  Luckily, she didn’t and that’s good.

I’ve presented at two fabulous conferences this spring ~ AWP and the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference.  I also gave a reading at the Albany County Library.  It was all so wonderful, but stressful too. 

I feel like I’m growing, but it’s hard to put my finger on exactly how.  I’m not getting much writing done, which feels horrible and makes me a little crazy, but I feel like I’m stretching in other ways.  The kids are growing too.  Their schoolwork this year was outstanding, and their math and reading has really taken off. 

But it’s all given me a sense of uneasiness. I’m reminded of the impermanence of life and how death is inevitable and ever-present.  I’m not in my comfortable mindless groove, but yet I’m not in my comfortable mindless groove, if you know what I mean.

But I also feel incipient, like things might change and things might be hard but they also might be good, you know?  I think we’re always on the verge of something and maybe I’m just more aware of it at the moment.  But change and rebirth is hard, is painful.  Things die, things are reborn.  It helps me to think of myself as unimportant at these times ~ insignificant, as the Romantic poets pointed out.  Like Wordsworth at Tintern Abbey:

                               These beauteous forms,

      Through a long absence, have not been to me

      As is a landscape to a blind man's eye:

      But oft, in lonely rooms, and 'mid the din

      Of towns and cities, I have owed to them

      In hours of weariness, sensations sweet,

      Felt in the blood, and felt along the heart;

      And passing even into my purer mind,

      With tranquil restoration: ~ feelings too

      Of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps,

      As have no slight or trivial influence

      On that best portion of a good man's life,

      His little, nameless, unremembered, acts

      Of kindness and of love. Nor less, I trust,

      To them I may have owed another gift,

      Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood,

      In which the burthen of the mystery,

      In which the heavy and the weary weight

      Of all this unintelligible world,

      Is lightened: ~ that serene and blessed mood,

      In which the affections gently lead us on, ~

      Until, the breath of this corporeal frame

      And even the motion of our human blood

      Almost suspended, we are laid asleep

      In body, and become a living soul:

      While with an eye made quiet by the power

      Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,

      We see into the life of things.

I don’t know what I’m saying here exactly, except that I love life and beauty and that my memories, like Wordworth’s, sustain me. And awareness of death is ever more present.

Buck Tilton, Cool Person

Today, I’m capping a week of talking about the amazing people I presented with at the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference.

Buck Tilton

Buck Tilton was our Host with the Most who organizes the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference and teaches at Central Wyoming College.  He is the Master of the Mountain, man, the Authority of the Outdoors.  He has written and published 43 books (43!) about enjoying and surviving in the outdoors.  Amazing. 

I’ll list the amazing things about Buck:  He’s written 43 books. (Did I mention: 43?!)  He makes everyone around him feel welcome, which made this conference one of the best I’ve ever attended. I'm sure the other presenters and the attendees feel the same way.  He’s a big huggable bear of a guy who you’d totally follow into the wilderness. And he teaches a mean class and is a master connoisseur of fine scotch.

After the conference, we all went over to Buck and his wife Kathleen’s house to sample some scotch and talk.  The night got a little blurry there in the middle, but between telling stories on ourselves about the most (possibly) illegal things we took on planes, rewriting the marketing language on the sides of the scotch bottles, and talking in very bad Scottish brogues, it was perhaps the best night for fun and friends in the history of the world. Just maybe.

Here’s his bio:

A teacher of English composition and literature, an author with 43 books and more than 1300 magazine articles behind him, Buck loves his family, the wild outdoors, and the educational process. Tilton has been writing professionally since 1980 and has had 43 books published. He is the recipient of the Paul Petzoldt Award for excellence in wilderness education, the Warren Bowman Award for contributions to wilderness medicine, and the Ben Franklin Award, given to the second best humor book of the year. His book Wilderness First Responder received an award for excellence from the American Medical Writers Association. He has written more than 1,300 magazine articles, and his column has appeared in Backpacker magazine for 24 years. Buck transfers his credibility as a writer easily to the classroom where his experience and expertise form a solid foundation from which he teaches. Buck has regularly volunteered as a rescuer at Alaska’s Denali National Park and spent a summer in Haiti teaching emergency medical skills following the earthquake.

Buck, seriously, quit being so damn cool!

Max Phelps, Cool Person

This week, I’m talking about the amazing people I presented with at the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference.

Max Phelps

Max Phelps is has spent his life in service of books ~ he is the son of a lawyer/novelist, he was an assistant in a Quaker library, he managed bookstores, and he’s been doing the great work of getting our books out there for years as director of marketing and sales.  Now, he is director of outdoor sales for the National Book Network (for Globe Pequot, FalconGuides, and Lyons).

His great presentation at the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference was about what happens in publishing and what a writer might expect if they went the traditional route.  He outlined what the organizational chart of a typical publishing house might be, which sounds boring but is absolutely fascinating to writers.  He outlined the process a book goes through.  I’m not being facetious when I say I was on the edge of my seat.

And as he was talking about all these great people working in a house to get books out there ~ you know 30 or 50 or 100 ~ I kept thinking about how as a self-publisher you have to do every one of those jobs.  All the more reason to appreciate all the help you can get, whether you’re traditionally published or self-published or both.

And Max is such a lovely person! I’m so stoked that I got to meet him and hope to run into him in the future.  You know that person in the room that doesn’t say that much but when he does, everyone stops and listens?  That’s Max.  I’m much heartened about the future of book publishing when I think that people like Max are in the trenches. *Hand to heart* Max!

Here is his bio:

I was born and raised in Southern Colorado, and lived in Philadelphia and Montana before settling in Connecticut. Occasionally I work for my wife and kids, serving as the pack mule for their backcountry trips and as their belay slave at the climbing gym or local crag. I am a regular source of motivation to cyclists in the region, giving them the impression that they are fast and strong. The nearby Long Island Sound is plenty raucous to test my paddling skills, and I noticed that there are lots of trees and birds in the area, so I am planning to learn the names of some of them. I have a ski problem and must always have a healthy supply of New Mexico Green Chile in my freezer.

Amber Leberman, Cool Person

This week, I’m talking about the amazing people I presented with at the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference.

Amber Leberman

Amber Leberman gave the best presentation about submitting to magazines and how to keep your editor happy.  It was great! It was titled “Keeping Your Editor Gruntled.” Amber is the editor of the beautiful and august magazine Wyoming Wildlife. 

Afterwards we were urging her to write a book called Your Lazy Editor Loves You.  That was one of her main points: Your editor loves you.  She wants to love you.  Don’t make it hard for her.  Don’t be THAT WRITER.

For example, find out when he’s on deadline to go to print.  If you try to contact your editor on the week leading up to this, you’re going to get a very short answer, if any at all.  And, for heaven’s sake, don’t be that person who insists on continuing to talk.  When he says, “Sorry but I’m on deadline,” apologize and hang up. Deadline week is hell for them.

A lot of it is common sense ~ common sense that we lose when we’re wrapped up in our writerly agony. Query first ~ you don’t need to write on spec.  Don’t be difficult.  If the editor wants you to make edits, make them. Don’t be a prima donna. Get your stuff in on time. Make it your best work ALWAYS.  There are many reasons an editor rejects something, often not at all related to the quality of the work. Don’t take it personally. Be your best self. An editor will keep coming back to you if you do.

She was so charming and sensible in her presentation. She’s like, “Look. We want to like your work.  But we’re lazy, like everyone. Make it easy for us.” 

I am so stoked to get to know her and I can’t wait to hang out in the future and talk writing and herding cats ~ er, writers. She does a hard job and is amazing at it!

Here is Amber’s bio:

Amber Leberman is editor of Wyoming Wildlife, a monthly magazine for anglers, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts. She works with more than 50 freelance writers and photographers annually. Before coming to Wyoming, Leberman spent 13 years in various roles (including assistant editor, web manager and art director) with a nonprofit magazine group in Chicago, preceded by stints at Copley Press and the Chicago Tribune. She is an avid backpacker and fly angler.

Please check out Wyoming Wildlife and be awed!

Michael Lanza, Cool Person

I thought I’d spend the rest of the week talking about the amazing people I presented with at the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference.

Michael Lanza

Michael Lanza lives your dream life. He really does. He spends his time hiking the most beautiful spots in America with his family, and then he writes about it and takes the most gorgeous photos. He’s a dynamo ~ he thinks nothing of hiking 20 or 30 miles. And he’s really got things figured out ~ he’s figured out a way to do all this and make a living at it at the same time. And over and above all that, he’s a really nice guy!

At the conference, he gave this amazing presentation about how you can have this amazing life and be this amazing creative person online.  He's really thought it through.

I love how he helps families get outdoors. His post about helping your kids love the outdoors is one of his most popular (“One Photo, One Story: 10 Tips for Raising Outdoors-Loving Kids”). This is on his fabulous blog The Big Outside.

You should really check out his book, Before They’re Gone: A Family’s Year-Long Quest to Explore America’s Most Endangered National Parks. It won a National Outdoor Book Award for literary merit. Read a lively excerpt here about meeting a bear on the trail.

Here’s his bio:

Michael Lanza is a freelance writer and photographer, award-winning author, public speaker, and for many years was the Northwest Editor of Backpacker Magazine. He created and runs The Big Outside, where he blogs about his outdoor adventures, including many with his family. His book, Before They're Gone—A Family's Year-Long Quest to Explore America's Most Endangered National Parks, winner of a National Outdoor Book Award, chronicles his wilderness adventures with his wife and their young son and daughter in national parks threatened by climate change. He is an engaging storyteller and gives talks and slideshows about his work and travels as an outdoor writer and photographer, the impacts of climate change on nature, and getting children out into the wilderness.

I know I'm gushing, but he's worth it.

The Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference

Amber Leberman of Wyoming Wildlife, Max Phelps of FalconGuides, Director Buck Tilton who writes wonderful outdoor books, myself, and Michael Lanza of The Big Outside.

I had the distinct pleasure and honor of presenting at the Wind River Outdoor Writers Conference this past weekend. 

You know how you never know what to expect when you go to these kinds of things?  It could be good, it could be horrible, it could be wonderful?  Well, it was beyond wonderful.  It is the yardstick against which I will measure all conferences, I have to tell you.

And I suspected as much. Buck Tilton, who organized the event with the help of his lovely wife Kathleen, is an amazing writer and the host with the most.  Anything he touches turns to writerly gold, and you just want to take him home and keep him. Our great friend David Gray helped, and I stayed with Dave and his lovely wife Chontelle (who were best man and matron of honor at our wedding years ago).

The other presenters were rock stars.  I’ll go into much more detail in the next couple of days, but I’ll introduce them here.  There is Amber Leberman, who is the editor for the pre-eminent wildlife and Wyoming magazine, Wyoming Wildlife.  There is Max Phelps, who has been in the book trenches in a number of capacities, including bookstore manager and director of marketing and sales at FalconGuides and Rowman & Littlefield.  There is Michael Lanza, who does these amazing outdoor adventures with his family and photographs and reports them on his wonderful blog The Big Outside.

Ten people attended, and I have to say I was so honored to get to know them, and I can’t wait to see how their writing flourishes in the future. Among others, there were a retired game warden, a retired banker, a retired college administrator, two wonderful PR people for NOLS (the National Outdoor Leadership School), a high school teacher, a grade school librarian, and a retired technical writer.

It took place at the Sinks Canyon Center in the foothills of the Wind River Mountains outside of Lander, Wyoming.  The blue mountains tooth up behind the center, and you think you’re in a wild animal park with all the wildlife. And the resident chickens came by to check us out.

More to come tomorrow and so on, but I have to tell you I’ll be basking in its glow for months.

Thank you, Buck, from the bottom of my heart!

Artistic Generosity

B. B. King, singing his heart out

B. B. King has passed away, and so I’m listening to him on Pandora this morning. His emphatic passion combined with his precise control is one of the things that makes him great. He throws himself into his performance. I heard a bit about him on NPR as I was driving to work, and he said he treated each performance as an audition, and you can really tell.  He gives everything of himself.

I love B. B. King.

It matches something I’ve been thinking about a lot.  Being a public artist means you put yourself out there, heart and soul.  Ideally, an artist is an instrument of the people.  Each person who hears/views/reads his or her work should be moved, and to be moved, that artist has to give it his or her all. 

Not only that, but they have to be there, to show up.  You have to make yourself available all the time.  That’s why the most successful writers are always putting stuff out there, doing blogs and putting out new work as much as possible.

We know how we are as consumers of art ~ we’re insatiable.  We want new stuff from our favorite artists as soon as we finish the last one.  As it should be.  We want to re-experience that feeling we had when we read our favorite book or first viewed our favorite painting or the ideal time we listened to our favorite music rich with our listening history.

That’s a lesson I need to take to heart.  Not only do I need to throw heart and soul into what I do ~ I need to be putting it out there as much as possible. It’s a convenient excuse to say that I’m busy.  If I’m going to be an artist and a public intellectual, I need to put my money where my mouth is.

The amazing B. B. King.