November 9, 2009

Ssssssshhhhhhhhhh

I used to surround myself with sound. I always had a radio going ~ as I got ready in the morning and in the car and working around the house and falling asleep at night. I didn’t mind being alone, since I was always alone growing up. In fact, I’d get nervous in groups of people. But if there was silence my inner monolog would make me miserable. I was a bundle of low self esteem and caffeine-induced free-floating anxiety, and by immersing myself in noise I couldn’t hear my inner voice, for good or ill.

Then a number of things happened. I worked through a bunch of issues, I got in a stable relationship, and the radio in my car broke. At first I missed it terribly, but then I got used to the silence. I stopped listening to the radio as I took a shower, and I surrounded myself with silence at those times that I was alone. You know what? I created this space for thought and writing that hadn’t existed before. Now I love that silence, and some of my most creative thinking time is in the shower. Not so much in the car, since I usually have two three-year-olds in the back.

So that’s something I now realize I need for my writing: a calm inner space created by silence.

I did lots of writing today, but unfortunately none of it was fiction.

What I’m Reading Today: Zombie novel continued. Go kick some Zombie ass, Krista!

1 comment:

Pembroke said...

I used to do that same thing! The only way I could write was by having music playing in the background. Now, I need complete silence. Why do you think that is?